In observance of National Adoption Month, Pennsylvania Partnerships for Children Development Director Audrey Eisenberg shares her perspective on making the needs of children in foster care a priority …
The other night, my caseworker called to cancel our final pre-adoption home visit because she was trying to find an emergency placement for four siblings – a process she anticipated could take the remainder of her evening.
My heart dropped. I wanted to help them … ALL of them, whatever their situation was, however old, whatever color they are. I wanted to give them warm jammies and a hug and a safe bed. And I wanted to find a way to keep them together, these four kids who I can only assume have helped each other through some pretty tough situations in their short lives so far.
No sooner had I uttered the question, “Can we take them?” to my husband, than I knew the answer; it was preposterous to even ask. We have five beautiful children, four of whom have joined our family through foster care and adoption. They are ages 10, 6, 4, 4, and 2 ½. We love them completely (and yes, they are “normal children” who occasionally drive us completely crazy). Our commitment to raising them well – meeting their needs, encouraging their interests, teaching them to love and respect others – means that now is not the right time for our family to help these four siblings who need to find a home.
But what about you? Is there room at your table? As you gather with family and friends for Thanksgiving, can you acknowledge the heart-tug you feel when you’re reminded that there are some children who don’t have a mom and dad they can rely on to provide the care and support they deserve? And can you take a moment to consider – really consider – whether that tug may mean it’s your family’s turn to help?
Foster care is not for everyone: The process of becoming a licensed foster family requires time and patience; relationships with biological families can be challenging; decisions about a child’s permanency can take years to establish; foster children’s life experiences and needs may test your limits and understanding. And not every foster child will call your family her “forever home.”
Still, last year more than 20,000 U.S. children “aged out” of the foster care system without being adopted, without the promise of a family who would love and support them into adulthood. There are currently more than 102,000 waiting to be adopted nationwide, including more than 1,900 children awaiting adoption in Pennsylvania.
Each one of these children deserves a place at a family Thanksgiving table.
This year, as you pass the mashed potatoes and look forward to the pumpkin pie, take count of your blessings. Can you add another plate or two (or four!?) at the table by this time next year?